.:FS.Räîn:.

hahaha... I admit that I had an overdose of Eric Suen yesterday before I slept, stalked him on YouTube where variety shows wick he attended last year in promotion of his newest album, and the music videos of his songs.

Love the way he acted on MTV talk show My Idol, such a charmer with electrifying gaze that melts you from within. .. then it was the date show hosted by Harlem Yu and Ella - the prince's date, he was kinda the special guest to help one of the long haul girls in their prince selection. Really like the way he talks with humour and he is like full of warmth and when his body language seems to me like those who mix around easily, does not keep a wide personal space around him... aiya.. very approachable kind of person.

then before 1 slept I found some not so nice news article saying that his business venture in China and Taiwan is faced with alleged claims that amounts to sky high figures (to me those are)...

maybe... it's just that side note of worry and loads of him being viewed, I had a really nice dream which I could recall vaguely--

I was with him heading somewhere. I was feeling happy, contented and up spirited yet trying not to show too much of it in front of him. There were moments where he had his arm around my shoulders and my hand in his whole he charmingly talks about the food he wants to eat and the place we are heading. I felt like I was the girlfriend... ♡♡♡♡♡♡

sadly my sister called and my dream got interrupted. .. and even now as I try to recall as much of it... that's the most I could.

When I have dreams, most of the time I couldn't recall the details or anything about it when I wake up. I kind of know if I had dreams but can't remember details. occasionally like today, I can recall bits of it. Dreams that I could recall could be very strange encounters or adventures type or Hot steamy ones and also some simple lovey dove romantic ones. Not necessarily always with my boyfriend though. .. I couldn't really identify any patterns on how my dreams are formed but I know that this was not the first time an overdose of someone or something led to a dream on him/it.

Day dreams are another bunch of things which shall not be covered. .. after all, those are my fantasies!

Till the next spur of the moment. .

Cheerios
FS.Rain

One of my most recent dreams that I can ever recall is about this 'idol' that me and xiu supports. I won't talk about it here as I have already done so in my Wretch blog... I was just thinking... Are there any underlying messages from the dreams that we have? The old chinese saying always depict it as a result of what you have been going through recently and what you have been thinking of frequently. But is it always so? I'm glad that I don't always remember what I dreamt of, if I am able to do so, it usually affects the quality of my sleep.
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Life?!
I started having thoughts of Life ever since I was about the age 6 or so. If I didn't remember wrongly, it was sort of spurred by my drunk father who behaved, looked like, and sounded like he was dying... I was really scared... scared of 'Death', then.

What exactly is Life? My ex-classmate Shuang used to love to ask me this everyday, or almost everyday... "Pbang, What's Life?" Each time, I find myself giving her a different answer. I, am still unable to answer this question.

I find it a waste of time, occasionally when this question and these thoughts came up in my mind, for us to be born into the world, live through life with all the struggles, some had more, some went smooth sailing... But ultimately, we die. I always like to conclude it as "We are born to death" or "born to die" or "born and destined to die". It seems so, when simply put. The next thing that came up is "If so, why the trouble?". Why do we go through the phases and when its time for harvest, we have reached prime time, the golden age... and soon, THE END. What for?

At the point of death, everything's gone. You will cease to exist physically. What about your feelings? What about all the thoughts that we have while we were alive? Everything that we see, the senses of touch, the songs and melodys that we hear, it is so real. But what happens when I am dead? Or how is it when I die? Is there the spiritual me? Do I become a ghost? Though I have no doubts that these things exist as a form of 'after-life', but I don't feel it substantially. Knowing it is not enough to convince me that it is not too bad... Whenever thoughts of Life & also Death comes up, I felt an emptiness... I'm not sure if I am describing it correctly, but I do feel a hollowness towards the whole thing about being alive. It is scary, because it is something unknown, something that's alien. And I can't imagine, and I do not wish to imagine what it will be for me when my love ones 'depart'. It is saddening.
~~~~~~

Well well well...
I went overboard, I guess...
But I can't help but to jot it down somewhere...