.:FS.Räîn:.

One of my most recent dreams that I can ever recall is about this 'idol' that me and xiu supports. I won't talk about it here as I have already done so in my Wretch blog... I was just thinking... Are there any underlying messages from the dreams that we have? The old chinese saying always depict it as a result of what you have been going through recently and what you have been thinking of frequently. But is it always so? I'm glad that I don't always remember what I dreamt of, if I am able to do so, it usually affects the quality of my sleep.
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Life?!
I started having thoughts of Life ever since I was about the age 6 or so. If I didn't remember wrongly, it was sort of spurred by my drunk father who behaved, looked like, and sounded like he was dying... I was really scared... scared of 'Death', then.

What exactly is Life? My ex-classmate Shuang used to love to ask me this everyday, or almost everyday... "Pbang, What's Life?" Each time, I find myself giving her a different answer. I, am still unable to answer this question.

I find it a waste of time, occasionally when this question and these thoughts came up in my mind, for us to be born into the world, live through life with all the struggles, some had more, some went smooth sailing... But ultimately, we die. I always like to conclude it as "We are born to death" or "born to die" or "born and destined to die". It seems so, when simply put. The next thing that came up is "If so, why the trouble?". Why do we go through the phases and when its time for harvest, we have reached prime time, the golden age... and soon, THE END. What for?

At the point of death, everything's gone. You will cease to exist physically. What about your feelings? What about all the thoughts that we have while we were alive? Everything that we see, the senses of touch, the songs and melodys that we hear, it is so real. But what happens when I am dead? Or how is it when I die? Is there the spiritual me? Do I become a ghost? Though I have no doubts that these things exist as a form of 'after-life', but I don't feel it substantially. Knowing it is not enough to convince me that it is not too bad... Whenever thoughts of Life & also Death comes up, I felt an emptiness... I'm not sure if I am describing it correctly, but I do feel a hollowness towards the whole thing about being alive. It is scary, because it is something unknown, something that's alien. And I can't imagine, and I do not wish to imagine what it will be for me when my love ones 'depart'. It is saddening.
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Well well well...
I went overboard, I guess...
But I can't help but to jot it down somewhere...

Whoa!
I had been terribly immensed in the world of Fan Fiction!!
http://www.fanfiction.net has tons of fabulous fics! I was really kinda addicted..

In the begining, I was only browsing, surfing the net. Was interested to find out more on HaJi of Blood+. So I found the site. Started reading... and couldn't stop. My thirst and hunger for more has never been so intense!
Well, that is, in the first place you have to really enjoy reading and getting yourself sucked into the fictional world, a world that is within your imagination!!

From there, I sported fics for Gokusen. The more I read, the stronger the urge to read the manga and watch the anime!! Coz the fics that I really enjoyed were those crossing and extracting/developed from portions of the anime, manga and JDrama. Of coz, I visualise with the faces of the Jdrama... coz the glimpse of the anime characters kind of got me a little disappointed..

All in all, I was glad that I know this language, and that there are wonderful folks out there with great writing skills and creative minds, yet generous enough to put their thoughts down to share with the rest of us out there. THANK YOU!!

There are quite a few fics that I really wana reccomend, but my eyes are failing me now... soon they will black-out, so I guess I shall do that in the next post.

 PS: SF, Sorrie!! I really got too carried away with work and everything else (fics too)... I better not make any promise to send you the photos le... hope that I get to do it this weeken bah..

Fangru

Two Friends

Two friends were walking through the desert. At some point of the journey, they had an argument; and one friend slapped the other in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand: "Today my best friend slapped me in the face".

They kept on walking, until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him.

After he recovered from the near drowning, he carved on a stone: "Today my best friend saved my life".

The friend who had slapped and saved him asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone . why?"

The other friend replied, "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. However, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."

Learn to write your hurts in the sand and to carve your benefits in stone.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but a lifetime to forget them.