.:FS.Räîn:.

I've read your blog.
Am glad to notice that we still have an important place in your heart. Though our words may have hurt you, you did it too, with your own. Not that I am trying to push the blame on you, but at times, you don't think, you act on how you felt. You gave in to your emotions and let them run over your brain and control your body without consiously knowing so.
Despite everything, I am really contended to know that you are aware of your own actions and thoughts, ESPECIALLY those that will harm yourself and get us all hurt by it. Please always remember that, you are not alone. You tend to take great likings to place yourself in your own world, a world which you think that you are at disadvantage. A world that you think that you are a victim of 'lost attentions/affections'. A world that you think that you lost all freedom, and all will to live on....
But you are not. That is just an illusion, a land of escapade which you drew yourself in. Amidst everything else that is revolving around you, you went in and out of that place. Mind you, however cruel it is to be living in REALITY, you are still going to live through it.
You have come thus far, but there's still a long long way ahead. Everyone else may come and go. We, unlike any others, are here to stay. The reason, I'm sure you know.
I would say that at this stage of your life, your studies are of utmost important. I am not saying that you have done nothing or attempted nothing at all in maintaining where you were. However, I think that you need to spend some time to re-prioritise your time and your priorities at this time of the year. It is just 6 more months before you move on to another level, another part of your life. You maybe able to join in a tertiary program, you may have to serve the nation. I, for one, would prefer that you fight for the opportunity to pursue your studies as it may be harder after a break of 2.5years if you are to serve the nation... you know what I mean, and you have seen it before, how I managed work, family and studies all at the same time. Or perhaps, you didn't notice that it was hard for me, too?

I know that you felt like the whole world weigh down on you, things don't work out, all these relationships came up with problems one after another... How about thinking of someone else who is much worse than you? There's always this saying that there is someone who is better than you (人外有人,天外有天), there is also someone who is much worse! No rush to solve ALL problems at once, take it one by one. Slowly, coz your efforts in resolving the issues will show.

Sacrifices hurts. But regrets cuts deeper. It is better to make some sacrifices now than to have regrets eating you away later. Think things through. I hate to say this but you do have to decide and make some sacrifices to ensure that you pave your own path as you set your foundation for your own future. We have gone through these many times before, you know what you want and what you need. It is fine to be selfish at times, as long as you are not doing it at the expense of others. You can always talk to us, especially mum. It may not seem obivous to you, but to me, she knows very little of what you are going through at this stage of life. You have not shared much with her. Trust me, she is a good advisor, though the way she's gonna say it may hurt you, but you must always remember that she is just trying to point out the cold hard facts that you may have wished to not acknowledge.

We have talked to her and even suggested to her to not delve into your BGR, hope it helps. But I hope that what I have commented to you previously on that issue is not forgotten.

Do check your gmail sometime... I think I will not post it up here for all to read as we go forward... I do have to watch what I say afterall... it's a public space!!

Last night, well, actually it's in the wee hours of this morning, all three of us were still in the living room watching this JDrama series when in the midst of watching, things happened:

Right at the corner of my eyes, where I can see both Xiu and Bao who were siting diagonally across my right, I saw the two of them raising their arms. Both raised their arms together spontaneously! Just as I thought it was strange of them to raise one of their arms for no reason, I had a glimpse of something in their hands... its one slipper in each hand!!

I turned my head to look at them clearly, true enough, they were indeed holding their arms up with a slipper in each of their hands, in a stance like that of one who is aiming to hit something. ITS SO FUNNY!! I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING!!

Hahaha, well, its all because of the little bug that flew past them (which I missed noticing) and its just their reflexes against such flying bugs!! But its so funny!! What's even better was the bug-hitting-show that was put-up when the bug flew down towards one of them and all hell break loose.. Armed with a slipper in their hands, they sprang from the floor and were swatting at the bug and at one point, the bug went 'blurred' and headed for Xiu's slipper, and then goes a 'thud-thud', down goes the bug after being hit Xiu and then bounced off the wall before landing on the floor.

Victory for the spontaneous bug busters!!

Trust me... if only I can paint the picture... it is really hilarious!!

FS.Rain